Labels . . .

just a few quick things i wanted to say.

you are who you are.

be happy with who you are.

love who you are.

why do people continue to label people?

black, white, gay, lesbian, straight, hispanic, etc.

quite honestly, who gives a f?

labels are for cans of tuna.

be you and do you regardless of what anyone has to say about it.

you should not have to hide who you are in fear of what other's may think, say or feel.

ok.

that is all.

Corporate Politics . . .

So after working on the retail side of the banking business, I have come to realize that I may not be cut out for all this corporate politic BS. I will always work hard and be the best at what I do no matter what. That means, I will always make ethical decisions as well. I will never sell my soul, especially to "Corporate America" or "the man". Nothing is worth my conscience, soul or heart. I strongly believe in karma and that it does come back to you ten fold.

I just recently got my review at work and I found it quite funny. I am a very outspoken person as you all know and I will always stand up for myself and others if I feel they are being done wrong. It does come back to bite me in the ass at times. I just find it funny how people can't handle honesty. In the corporate world, it seems as if they want you to conform. Sit back, do your job and shut up. Lord forbid that you have an opinion. Lord forbid that you speak up and ask, "Why?" Guess what, I am that person. I want to know why I am doing something. There are too many people out there that just do and don't ask and look what happens to them in the end. They end up in some huge scandal, thrown under the bus, fired and/or shitted on. I will not be that person.

I guess I will just have to find my own way in this world. Forget crawling up the corporate ladder and kissing asses to get there. I will be my own leader and my own success story!!

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Now playing: Otis Redding - Change Is Gonna Come
via FoxyTunes

Boxer AKA . . .

Hector!!!!

Okay, so I finally accepted his invitation to dinner. He was late. Bad move on an official first date homie. To kill time, I was talking to the hostess and telling her how this guy is meeting up with me and I still had no clue what his name was. She was trying to think of a few ways without just blatantly looking like a jack ass asking, "Um, I know we are like on a date and have been textin' back and forth for about a month but what is your name?" LOL. He finally gets there and we sit down and eat. We start talking and lucky for me he started to tell me a story that began with, "My boss told me, Hector . . ." I was like hell yeah. Funny thing is I woulda never guessed.

Damn, I'm bad.

Psalms 27:5

"For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion: in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon a rock."

Psalms 27:5

So yesterday I decided to venture over to a new church, a baptist church, Memorial Baptist Church to be exact. Let me tell you, this had to be one of the most amazing experiences ever. I truly enjoyed church yesterday. I was born and raised a Catholic. I was the child that was made to go to church every Sunday. I always understood there was the Holy Trinity and Heaven and Hell and believed in them but I never truly understood the Word. I mean what child does? Like any other practicing Catholic, I was baptized, had my first communion, and I completed my confirmation. I was a senior in high school when I made my confirmation. After that I went to college. College meant no momma to wake me up every Sunday to go to church. Again, I was never the good practicing Catholic. I believed but wasn't to keen on going to church. I was a freshman in college, only 18 years old and I was in a terrible car accident, March 2002. I walked away from that accident with just a bruise from the seatbelt. My car was completely totaled. If I showed you pictures, you wouldn't believe I walked away from that. At that point, I tried to change my ways, you know become a better person, quit living the so-called "fast life" as my Daddy always put it. Of course I was thankful and blessed to have made it out of that accident without hurting myself or anyone else. I thanked God for a second chance.

Not to long after, I was back to old my ways again. Living the fast life, thinking I was invisible and nothing could stop me or get in my way. January 31, 2007, I was in another terrible car accident. Again, car totaled, amazingly enough I walked away. This time I had some injuries - a sprained wrist, a twisted ankle, some cuts and lots and lots of bruises. I found it ironic that after being thrown and spun around in the car, the car stopped right in front of a church off 410. Hmmm, was someone trying to send me a sign? Not too long before that I was thinking to myself that I needed to make some major changes in my life. I needed to quit all the heavy partying, the heavy drinking, playing dudes, etc. The day of the accident, I had just passed my last licensing exam. My career was about to start and 8 hours later, it almost never did. God was truly trying to tell me something. I have put my poor guardian angel through hell since I was 16. Poor thing probably couldn't handle me anymore and was like, "God, seriously, she needs another wake up call. I'm puttin in some massive overtime here." Well this time I paid attention. I was given another chance. My luck, on the 3rd strike I'm always out. If I woulda kept going the way I was going, my 3rd strike would have ended in a deadly car accident. I have so much to live for and so much to do. I don't want to miss out on life. At this point, I saw that I needed to make my relationship with God stronger than it ever had been before. I was praying on a regular basis in private. I was at church every single Sunday engaged in the readings and trying to apply the Word to my everyday life. The first few months, it was like God was talking directly to me through the priest. I mean every single reading, every single lecture was directed towards me. God obviously saw that I needed guidance and that I truly wanted him to be a part of me and my #1 priority.

As the past couple of years went by I continued to maintain my faith and have a strong relationship with God. Over the past few months, it seems like I have fallen away from God. Not intentionally. I can't honestly explain why. I have the typical excuses on Sunday, "I'm tired. I don't feel good. I never get to sleep in. I'll go next week." If you really think about it, does He ever put us on the back burner? Sometimes, we may feel that he does but we just have to be patient. There is a reason why He may be taking a little bit longer to give you guidance or answer your prayers. I'm a strong believer in, "Everything happens for a reason." If we can spend an hour or a couple of hours shopping, at the club, at a bar, at dinner, at the movies, sittin on the couch watching TV, we can give God at least an hour of our time once a week. We need to quit with these excuses and be there for the person that will always be there for us.

Back to the baptist church experience. AMAZING! I mean things were different. I'm used to the structure of a Catholic church, you know, sit, kneel, stand, accept the Eucharist, the Nicene Creed, the Our Father. There is nothing wrong with that believe me. Here it was okay to speak out and show that the preacher was touching you with his sermon. People welcomed us like we were a part of their family. I know I was destined to go to that church yesterday. Again, the sermon was directed to me. Psalms 27:5. Like the preacher said, you need protection from life, people, even yourself. That right there hit the spot. I've just had so much on my mind that if I keep going the way I've been going I'm going to have a nervous breakdown. Sometimes, to avoid these feelings, I will turn to alcohol. That's where I need protection from, myself; I went to the front and testified. No one there was judging me. It was just people praying for me hoping that I find God and live the way He wants me to live. The choir sang beautifully and of course they were jammin out. For right now, I think I belong in the Baptist Church. I just feel I can relate to the teachings even more so. Of course, they read the scripture but the preacher applies it to our everyday lives and our everyday feelings. Now this doesn't mean I plan on converting from Catholic to Baptist. It doesn't matter what your religion as long as you believe in a higher power.

I do know He will always be there for me no matter what. Through good times and bad times. I just need to look to Him more often for guidance and blessings. I do want to walk the right path in life and that's the path God has set forth for me to walk.

P.S. Thank you all for reading. By no means am I trying to preach. I just wanted to share my experience and how I felt about my faith. If you want to join me at church one day, just let me know. They'll love to have you.

Who is Boxer . . .

You may ask? Well Boxer's back to back phone call and text inspired me to write this. He is Mexican , bald, tatted up, about 5'9", and a boxer. Let me give you a quick recap of how we met.

Me, Crystal and my boy Mark were out barhopping Stone Oak. Our last stop was Chicago Bar. We ran into an old high school friend and Boxer was with him. So apparently, the old high school friend, who shall remain nameless, was feeling my girl and apparently Boxer was feeling me. The bar was closing up, they told us their roommate had a bunch of people over at their place so we should stop by. At 2am with nothin else to do, we said what the hell and we went over. So tell me why no one was there but his bro. Total setup. So we hung out a bit. Since I had 2 boxers in the house I decided to recruit Boxer to help me with some sparring action. You know a little flirtin action goin on at the same time. Apparently, I don't know my own strength cus I clipped him in the nose and made him bleed. So long story short, me and my girl just crashed there in the living room cus, you know, you shouldn't drink and drive. ;) We woke up the next morning and Boxer was like, "You should stay. I was just getting to know you. You're a cool ass chick, blah blah blah." I mean I was kinda feelin him the night before but that had to be the multiple shots and drinks talkin cus he went from a 9 to a solid 5 that morning. Okay okay, I'll give him a 6 1/2 but only cus he was tatted up. LOL. Anyways, I quickly gave him my number and peaced out. Of course, he blew my phone up the whole day. "When am I going to see you again? Can we hang out later? Blah blah blah." I entertained him and responded. So of course I asked him what he did for a living. Tell me why it took him 3 days to respond "in construction". Three days and and all you could come up with was construction?! I'm surprised he didn't hesistate for a moment and just say sales. And then I would have asked, "What kind of sales?" He would then respond, "Sales," and leave it at that. We all know what that means. Hmmmmm, illegal activity.

The thing is, does anyone see what's missing here? WHAT THE HELL IS BOXER'S NAME? We've been textin back and forth for about 2 weeks and I still don't know that fool's name. I'm like can we throw a signature on those text's buddy. Apparently, I was too tipsy and didn't really care to pay attention to that part of the conversation. Poor boy thinks he has a chance and he's in my phone as Boxer. At this point, I kinda wanna hang out with the kid just to figure his name out. So when I see him, I'll be like "Heeeeyyy (you know that long drawn out hey cus you have no clue what that person's name is), how's it going," and give him that one armed hug. Or if I run into a friend while we are out, I can just introduce the friend in hope's Boxer will introduce himself. Or even better, I can wait til he whips out his wallet and I can play the "oh let me see your driver's license picture" game and scope out his name real quick. I think I'll go with the last option. What is a girl to do? LOL.

Just a Little Disclaimer . . .

Before I start diggin deep into this and lettin y'all into my personal space I gotta say a few things:

• I am very blunt but not mean about it :)


• I'll call you out on your BS


• I keeps it real


• Don't expect perfect grammar - I make up my own words and Imma talk to ya like I'm talkin with my friends


• I might say some things that may come across a little conceited/cocky but that's usually intended to mask the insecurities that I have - hey I'm only human


• I curse like a sailor so my friends say. I know I know, not the classiest trait for a female to have so I'll try to keep the "F BOMBS" to a minimum


• People will get called out or mentioned, friends and foes. So friends, if you wish to remain nameless or substitute your name - you know how they do in those teen magazines when girls talk about how they were skanks and had like 4 abortions - then let me know. I'll even let you choose your alias and put that little * by it. For you foes, you're just SOL homies.
  
• And last but not least, being the heterosexual female that I am, I have the mentality of a dude when it comes to relationships. There will be a lot of times I may side with the boys. Sorry ladies but some of you broads need to get a clue.

So again, take a peek into my crazy calm ugly beautiful interesting not so much yet it is own little world.

A First . . .

I don't usually do the public blog thing. I'll throw one in here or there on my Myspace profile but it's been quite some time. I usually keep journals and fill those with my crazy days, my sad days, my happy days, you get the point.

For whatever reason, my roomie thinks I need my own show. She's always like, "You're just so "you", people have to see how funny (I think her way of saying "crazy") you are. " I think she is eventually going to plant some nanny cams around this place and try to pimp me out to the Reality TV world. Hey, I can't blame her. Times are rough, the economy is bad. We all gotta make a buck somehow. Haha. I, myself, would either love to have my own radio talk show or be on a reality TV show, preferably The Real World or Bad Girls Club. I would never do a dating show or all those "Looking for Love" bullshit shows. The only way I would do one is if I had the dudes chasin' after me. My momma didn't raise no fools. LOL. And there is no way in hell I'm eating a pig's balls or laying in a bed of roaches or any crazy mess like that Joe Rogan. No offense, but that's white people shit. So I guess this is a start, a public blog for all to read.

So sit back, relax, enjoy and welcome to my crazy ass life. You'll meet the crazy sober Monique' and during the drunken moments, my even crazier alter ego "Nicole" who likes to wild out. Don't worry. I'm sure she'll post a blog at 3am while she's gettin' her after the bar eat on - usually a bean and cheese taco from TC's - and you'll see what I mean. And when I say crazy people, I don't mean mental, just a girl who LOVES TO ENJOY LIFE NO MATTER WHAT. :)